The sunrise.
It’s rays illuminate the sky and changes the colour of the clouds. Turning into a either a wonderful pink colour or a flamboyant red, the clouds alone will lift your spirits. The smell of the air even changes. It will have no actual scent, but what it does create is the smell or sense of being alive. People smell the air when the sunrises, not because it smells good, it’s because they feel alive in the mornings when they smell the air.
The feeling generated by the sun rising is incomparable. It brings you joy, peace, or it will make you feel alive every time you see it. Seeing the sunrise every morning will never get old because no sunrise is the exact same, they may be similar but they are not the same. Each different sunrise will bring along a different sensation. One day it will be joy, another day it will be peace, the day after it’ll be relief, but what they all have in common is that they create the feeling of being alive.
The warmth radiating from its golden rays come in contact with your skin, and, somehow those rays of sunlight will enter your heart. Unlike the mid-day sun, where the sun is always there not doing anything, the morning-sun will enhance your positive aura. Your aura will become strengthened by positivity; it will reflect any negative energy that comes your way. Think about it, in the morning you’ve just woken up, you see the sunrise, what do you feel. You feel satisfied with life. You may not realize it, but your aura is being protected or engulfed with positivity.
Most people who watch the sun rise will always smile when looking at its stunning beauty. The people who don’t smile will be thinking of a time they were happier or a time of regret. They’ll be imagining a better time that they’ve experienced or they’ll picture something they regret not changing. However, after they stop thinking, the rays emitting from the sunrise will be allowed to enter their heart. By allowing this stream of positivity to enter their heart, they are able to become protected by the energy. Even if they try to think back to a regret they won’t be able to or at that moment they won’t care about it because the sun has created a barrier blocking out any negativity.
So, if you don’t believe me, next time you are watching the sunrise and you are feeling content, try to think of a regret you haven’t moved on from. Then you’ll be able to experience the true beauty of the sunrise.
http://kurld.com/wallpapers/sunrise-image.html – picture
This piece is very interesting i think it would fit better as a free choice, but its your… well choice. I like the way you spoke in this and it made me think a way i never had before.
-kaden
Dear Shane,
The imagery of your piece was incredibly captivating. After reading it, I found a certain serenity in me, and the thoughtfulness in your writing was really inspiring. You engaged all of my senses with your imagery and made the sunrise very real to me. I was immersed in your writing completely, so I hope you know how wonderful that was.
Another thing that I want to highlight is your skill in paragraphing. I read another piece recently that did this, too, but I think that your judgement when it comes to paragraphing is also quite remarkable. You don’t have paragraphs that are too long-winded, nor do you have short paragraphs that aren’t detailed enough to keep my attention. They are separated in such a way that I can dive into the sunrise for a while, and then reappear regularly for a breath of fresh air.
As something for you to work on, I thought that you could use some more time dedicated to editing in order to clear up some of the GUMPS issues present in this piece. They are minor things, but they draw the eye and take focus away from the brilliance of your writing.
I also felt that you could benefit from adding visuals to your piece. They really enhance the writing, and I think with an image as powerful as a sunset, pictures would be a great way to colour your writing and make it even more enticing to prospective readers.
The other thing is that I don’t know how well this fit as a news piece. I think it is something that needs to be a short story, or maybe you could use this as your free choice piece. It doesn’t have the factual feel of column writing, but it is still incredible!
Overall, I think you’ve written a fantastic representation of the sunset. I’ll be looking out for your writing in the future!
Love,
Ziyana